In what I thought was a stroke of genius back in January I scheduled all of my 6 month follow up appointments for the same week as VBS at our church. At the time, it seemed brilliant – I was practically guaranteeing that I would be in town and I also knew that I wouldn’t plan a million of other things to be doing during the day since the boys would want some time to sleep in and rest before busy nights.
Looking back, that was a super dumb choice. Yes, I was in town and yes, I wasn’t scheduling a bunch of other things during the day. BUT I forgot to account for my own need for rest during VBS week and I definitely forgot about the stress that both follow up appointments and VBS week can bring. If there is one thing that is super dumb, it is placing emotional stress on emotional stress.
For most volunteers, VBS is probably not a huge stressor but for someone who is doing all of the big teaching from the platform and is still a “recovering VBS coordinator” VBS is still overwhelming. Though I knew that VBS was still going to be a big week and a big ask for me and my mental processing, I surely didn’t have any idea what kind of stress was going to ensue. Add to that the semi-unexpected emotion of a follow up appointment with my oncologist AND an appointment with my general practitioner that included a bunch of blood work and the result was a VERY hard week. In fact, it was hard enough that it has taken me additional 10 days post the end of it to write it out.
Oddly enough, even though I said the week was VERY hard, everything went well. Most of the stress and worry was unnecessary. VBS went smoothly in general and each of my appointments went well. My blood work looks great for the most part. The doctors are happy. In fact, they are happy enough to release me for the next six months. Yes, you read that right, no more follow up appointments until 2025!
As for how I’m doing outside of what the doctors have said, I feel good for the most part. There are a few lingering things:
- My left arm and elbow are giving me a bit of extra trouble the last few weeks. Before you call and tell me I should talk to the doctor about it, I have. She is aware of the tightness and said there are several reasons this may be coming back. We’re going to keep an eye on it at home and if it continues to get worse or is bothersome in every day life, I’m going to call and she will put in for some PT. Neither she or I want to jump the gun on getting PT as it would mean a lot of appointments again and I have the list of exercises they are likely to start me off with. I do notice that my arm is worse on days when I haven’t been as good about doing my stretches and exercises so I am trying to be much more diligent. I honestly think it is probably the full problem. I have been much more lax about it this late spring and summer because when my routine is thrown off I honestly don’t always think to do them. At home I have doing the exercises tied to things I do every day and I can be far more consistent. Our crazy amounts of travel and summer outings have messed with this routine. I expect that my arm will get a ton better as soon as school starts back up and our days more or less follow a pattern.
- The brain fog I was experiencing on my medication is almost completely gone! Every once and a great while I will feel like I am swimming through pea soup all day but the adjustment of my dosage has made a world of difference. When I do have a foggy day, I am quicker to realize that is what is going on and to adjust our day and my expectations for the day. The boys are also learning how to flex with these days.
- The speech apraxia – words coming out of my mouth in the incorrect order or my lack of ability to recall an appropriate word – is also better. We have noticed this happens more when I am tired or stressed which then makes it extra frustrating because you are already a bit edgy but we’re working with it. I can say that I went to CentriKid church camp again as a chaperone this summer and even with the VERY short nights and the long trying days, I was able to keep most of this in check. The girls did note one instance of a really wonky sentence but I had warned them and they were very kind in helping me realize what was said and were exceptionally patient as I took the time to rephrase it and get it straight.
- Stamina is still coming along. For most people, I probably look like I’m back to all the things. I am regularly walking several miles a day, cleaning the house, keeping up with the boys and cooking the meals but when I look at it, I still feel slow and a bit more sluggish. The doctor said that this could well still be the effects of my treatment course but also mentioned that I am now 40 and so I may be seeing the effects of that as well. Whatever it is, I’m not letting it keep me down and will continue to claw back by gradually doing more and more as I can.
I think that is the update for now. Thank you for your prayers and keep them coming. This journey is far from over and we all are still adjusting and living with this reality every day.